to be polite, or just lie straight on.

to be polite, or just lie straight on.

because isn’t polite not just another word for telling accepted lies. of course being polite is mostly to find in the wild of society, there where the bodies are still present to see, not only voices that are pretty silent and make noise in the silent words on modern media.

but who ever found being polite a good idea. it is even quite versatile stuff, because you can still being polite and kill off your opponent of the day, or victim for the more experienced polite being.

from a young age my mind is always been in conflict with that being polite, it never seems to work well. i spend many hours in my mind to understand it, and now on the other end of life. i still do not get it. i think i landed in the years in between on who ever had that bright idea that by giving it another name, it usually are simply lies of course,that it would work well.

and of course we all have to be trained to handle that being polite, and that is given a lot of effort. and it is hard stuff, because at the same time they say at least you have to be honest, upright and tell the truth. telling lies has as result at least some form of punishment.

but it is so conflicting. like it is perfectly fine to tell mrs. jones she has a beautiful dress, that suits her greatly. when there is nothing in your mind that means anything in that, and most times you do not like that dress, and on mrs. jones it looks only more horrible.
on the other end of the spectrum of truth, if asked if you took a cookie from the jar and when asked, you choose the option to say simply no, all hell can break loose.

are both very different situation no, in both examples you still are telling the porkies, but for the first you get rewarded, for the second punished. now had i in that last part already the experiences that it actually never mattered if i told the truth, because it had a habit of being simply the wrong truth. first a few years with the so called sisters of love, at least that was the name they been given or chosen. and after that i arrived on the bad spectrum of a stepmother. both had a habit of dealing out well in a quite violent way their ideas of the truth of the day.

i must say, the efforts they put in to learn me a trick or two about what truth is was quite energetic and they never forget to tell it was meant with the best intentions, i had to learn to speak the truth. as a result i got a well warped understanding on the concept called truth.

and from there i started to put a bit more attention on that matter. to find out that what we call society, what is mostly build on honesty,truth and politeness, is just fiction. it is not really there. maybe that is why social media nowadays is so hard and a confrontation. the others are most likely not near you they can real time pay back that can hurt much. so why hide your truth? now i must say it often does not work that much better. so it is not that my mental investments have brought much solution, but the concept behind the truth and why it is used so strangely is still hair pulling stuff at times.

so many times there is spoken from a concept of truth, and even in a polite way, but if you really take the time to listen well, it usually is just a bunch of covered up lies. some even put heart and soul in it, but most lack that probably in their mind too.

i can tell you even when the words spoken are still sounding polite, if you get your next beating for speaking the truth during having to listen to the words it is not making it a different experience, your mind is at best set on the back burner, and a good solid beating, of course never on visible parts, you have to think ahead for the otherwise still effing polite questions when they kick you outside from onlookers after the fact.
maybe it had a effect more near their intentions if they not had given you after it a time to think about it in solitary.

the modern formulation about anything you can choose to say if often, if you cannot say it in a nice way, maybe its better to say nothing at all. that is such a killing sentence. because it tells you not to tell the truth, be that honest person, but be a better person if you cover up your real thinking in lies.

so telling lies is gotten the most important foundation on what we call society, it gets even much worse, because we call it even civilisation, and ours is way superior above all others.
but does it really works?

o, it keeps the pretence going well enough, but it cannot work in many minds, and on many points we simply seem to reach a point of just accepting it, many will still keep hold of some pet things, where a more outspoken word comes from. but we just find out it is hard to beat society as a system, so at most times you just give in and join in too. i am not different in that, okay i found at least a bit of a way that can be called escapism, that most times works for me. .

some parts still are hard to deal with, even more when the concept of religion walks in to it, i never did well with that one, i lack all talent in the concept of believing, i do not have that in me. even my early childhood pictures are a collection of the young researcher at work. like the time i solved the quest of granddads packets of cigarettes, that no other ever dared to touch, even looking at them gave fearful expressions on the adult faces.

so i decided that the why of that needed an answer once and for all, okay i was just over 2 years old. i cannot remember anything of it, and have no idea why i needed a fur hat on my head. but i just managed to take the packet when it was laid down on a paper that morning, so i had not to touch it. i already had the lesson that when they said do not touch this or that it would hurt you, with the adventure with the coal burner. and i transported it to the hall way. it took another 20 odd years before i found the answer why it was always so dreadful cold there.

and i am dismantling with great care the full packet, layer for layer, there are pictures of most stages. well the danger ended up not to be in the packet, and in that time there were no nasty pictures on them too, and it would took me another year to read the letters, so that would not helped either.

i found out after i had dismantled everything, even the filters and for being thorough is tasted all parts too, i think i did get hooked on the wonderful smell of tobacco then, there was no fear in the things themselves, but some hours later it was the behaviour of mu granddad that solved the quest quickly. i have no active memories on it, but there is something left in the back of my mind that kept me the rest of my life to escape most direct confrontations with the guy. there always was some distance.

yes, my mind did not give up the overly curious thoughts, and do something with that to get an answer to many quests and questions. not that others did not try to end that, so from that i got my answer that violence is something that has its natural limits. and i already knew it did not matter, it was just part of my daily life, and there was always a reason for them to deal some. i never found an answer that worked to end them doing it.

many other people knew about it, and all knew others knew, but it was simply solved by polite lies. and that was a steep learning curve in the realisation we simply live in a world full of lies, and most of us do at least never care much about these lies.
and it was quite a diversity of people, it did not matter if they were declared upstanding citizen, like doctors, lawyers, priests, judges, or the worst kind social workers.

i was just lucky i found some really good people that also were very honest people, but they were simply powerless, still their solution worked well, giving me asylum of it all, a place without lies and polite dishonesty. a place where i did not have to take the stand, but could spend some stolen time in a place where nicer things been so much more important, where the violence was not something that needed words. i simply could ask what i wanted, but i got there more honest answers, like we cannot change that, and i already knew that well enough before the age of 10. still they gave me happy places, where i could simply be as me, where being me was simply enough.

with that they showed there was that things could be different. that there were still people i could trust. i simply called them my aunties, and the major role was for my gran, she still is my example of how truly honest people do act, that they do exist, only there is little power in society for them. still living is so much easier around them.

i think they had a big part in not getting completely mixed up from my history. it still spoiled too much time in the after years, but that was a quest in itself, finding you can distance yourself from the ties to your past, that already been gone. that you do not have to forget, but that you can even make use of what you take from it. and i did and do.

i still look with curiosity to what we call society, how warped a lot it, most because of finding solutions to stand each other by categories of lies.

and it was a full life for me too, i lived on over 20 different addresses, in all kind of families at times, lived so besides all kinds of religions, seeing these from the inside did never fully explained much of that. i lived on may financial scales, from deep down in the back end of benefit alley to millionaires mansion.

but i also did own a farm, i can take any kind of vehicle apart and get it back together again, and most timers even working again, as long as their is no digital mess in the concept. i worked many very different jobs, usually at least two in the same week. i never have left a job in the same position as i started. i love being outside and like to see how nature solves most situations well. i like teaching others in that, even if i see that as simply sharing knowledge, not so much as teaching. i cannot say anymore that somewhere halfway my years of existence i was asked to become an officer of the law, but it still is in the first half of my life.. i still am officially on paper that, but it is not a day job with office hours.

for myself it feels mostly as a strange life, where still the good and great moments are keeping the bad and very bad parts deep in a shadow.
i never lost that overly curious mind, i still have that child in me that keep asking but why, but how and also but why not.

i still cannot grab why we build our society on lies, why we find that a useful concept, i know the truth is more a spectrum, where it has so many different faces, words and uses to say truth where it still is simply a lie.

what i did lost is thinking in people that can have a ranking, keeping all just people is hard enough to deal with. i also lost all fear for other people. i do not fear death too, and also not accept that as the worst faith you can overcome. playing games with living people is so much worse to endure.

and that playing games with others is as long as it looks polite also fully accepted, in the easy way you can deal with that by putting fences around other people. keeping them in by your lies. i found my way in that by taking on the game, turn it in a episode i can take many funny moments from. i am simple not build to be the victim. it cannot be called surviving it, much more enduring it, take from it what i can use and next.

of course there are things in me that are broken in pieces that no glue can heal, but many people have such pieces, there is no contest that decides when you are allowed to have such broken pieces, for most it would not stop the clock in living.
still in my line of thinking, most of these broken pieces are simply the result of how we build society on lies, i do hate it when i see others dealing with broken pieces from that.

we keep up the lies so much, and in so many different ways, most we no longer even recognise. covering up in words is the standard solution. bob dylan wrote a great song about this. blowing in the wind.

and we will simply go on our days. asking others; how are you?, a question you better not dare to answer with the truth. i like the short solutions always better, like just; morning. so much easier to escape the lies. all you need is telling you see the other. why need that some lies on it.

there is even a worse question, that has usually put much effort into lie your heart in and out on it, the times we ask politely ‘how do you feel?’ when we already know the other is sick. how often do we really want to hear the honest answer on that one? we call asking it showering our empathy, really? is that empathy part of the deal? i am no ones better in that.
i did grow a bit in the habit of simply do not ask such silly questions. unless i really want to know,and not always from empathic means, but just because i am curious by nature.
and it is not often welcome curiosity of course, so need quite a lot of lies to be getting it out in that polite way. it still feels silly. what is the reason i could not simply say; wauw , that is interesting tell me all. what makes it different over playing the game of running around the words.

the result is, that i even when i like other people to have around, some you have simply a need of, many things only work through others, but i really need my down time of being on my own. some hours to escape from lies and pretend truths.
and i love the freedom i have today to step out of most other people, out of taking part with them in what is still the society. i always try to have even some hours each day to be alone, i need that as down time from all that is really there and still so much faked in so many ways.
i never have felt or do feel lonely. i like a mix of alone and company best, but having a choice in it suits me best.

and it has as everything in life simply does, an influence on everything, and maybe that is why i have not that much worries about social media behaviour. it is so much less polished in politeness and by that often much closer to true opinions, as you would meet in real life meeting others. much still will use fake things and lies of course, but there is logic as they are the result of this society, but i actually like it when thoughts are less hidden in politeness.

you still can disagree with what is written, but it is a lot easier to find out where that other mind is hanging on.
i do not get that people from outside the netherlands call us very direct, we are very well trained in cover life in lies too, but at least when you ask a question, you have a small chance you get an answer. and that itself can come more straight from that mind. but isn’t that the risk when you ask a question? and why accept a fitting and well chosen lie be better as at least trying to answer from your own mind.

it even shows how much truth as a concept not really exists.

I agree 100% about the false pretence of being polite - you're angry about something then let it be known!  There's nothing to be achieved by showing a multifaceted persona to suit every occassion or even pretending everything is okay when it isn't.

At best it's hypocrisy, at worse it can be down right evil.

Every time you say something or respond to another you open the floodgates of deception - why do that?

I don't like lies, I don't like liars, I don't like falsity of any description, over the centuries it has proven to be the ruination of civilisation.  Basically there is really no need to lie, it is but a cover for bad deeds or a strange need for people to feel part of the human race.

There is something very warped in the minds of the human race.

I know people lie to me all the time, rather than admit having done wrong or just wanting to be liked.  I don't want to be liked, not if it involves deception of any kind nor do I want anyone pretending to like me for any reason.

Always I try to keep life simple, that way you can avoid the lies or the need to lie.

Why be polite if you're about to punch the lights out of someone or they've just done the dirty on you.  Why be polite when disagreeing with someone's behaviour or opinions?

With respect .... blah blah blah, how can you realistically respect someone when about to demolish something they do or say?  Meaningless words that can only lead to trouble, if not now at some time in the future.

If someone is nice to me or does something nice for me, I will be grateful and thank them  but not out of feigned politeness.  The gesture would be purely an act of human kindness in return for a genuine act of kindness.

Years ago I invited a gay couple to my home for dinner, not exactly friends, more acquaintances.  The evening was very amicable, we talked we laughed we ate and we drank.  The very next day one of said gay men went around telling the town I tried to poison him with 'iffy rabbit pâté - it was liver!  I was locally blacklisted because of the event.  You should hear the tales he told about his live-in partner, it would make the hair stand on end.

What did he achieve?  Well nothing really.

Moral:  Stay at home in your cave!

i was born too late for finding such a cave, and in an area that never had caves in the same time as it has humans.
i still have not gotten the answer to how deep i have to dig to find solid rock, i know it is much more as 23 meters, because of the digging of a well, that surpased the layers of clay and peat well, but it was all still loose yellow grey sand. and with out water tables it probably would not work anyway.

but it still is so strange that it is easier to have multiple days where you not speak anything truthful at all. and you do not have to go solitary to get it that far. it is even very easy to get a lot of praise for it, by others telling you are such a nice one, i am not even trying to be nice, but no one ever believes that.

but as a child i found it very problematic, it was all so hard to get. i did grow in seeking solutions, so because the most serious beatings always were the ones when i simply was truthful, i just decided to become a better liar.
but it is strange that children, often are more in telling true words, but then adults say they have to bring you up to become adults, and all you end up with is becoming a well trained liar at best.

but it would be wrong to think liars lie for malicious reasons only. it seems much more a human habit that we translate for ourselves as something that works well. i think a bit differently about that. and there is no way to escape it fully yourself.
i think myself that is at best delays problems, by simply looking away and denying it is there, or talking over something a problem is not solved at all.

as human kind we have more flaws, and is hard to understand how we even got it this far with that. even more if you look how our communal offspring, not mine, but they are everywhere you are around, there must be still enough genes left in some from the time we ever behaved as the animals we were once, but there must be far too many mutations doing the round. and it could be much worse of course, nowadays the super hero from the cradle to adult hood, but it would be funny to give them a bit of room between best roses and heaviest pumpkin of the village of course. they do buy the outfit and tell them they can fly, luckily for the next generations, some believe that and just try it.

but of course at the same time we cannot have adds that make them want you to buy all these horrible things, and they must be protected against influencers and fake news online.